No murders of the day, no talentless bimbos, no divisive left/right politics, no world leaders with questionable ethics, no Wag the Dog-style invasions, no corrupt politicians.
The following mix of positive and lighter fare - partly inspired by Joe Warmington's 2007 review - is in addition to the smile-inducing Andy Donato and Susan Dewar editorial cartoons, the helpful Bruce Kirkland DVD reviews, Steve Tilly's gaming reviews, Peter Worthington's dog columns etc.
Marc the Litter Guy, ready and able to clean Toronto streets for donations, received his 15 minutes and a lot of verbal bouquets in July with a Sun story by Kevin Connor and a follow-up column by Mike Strobel.
Belleville Const. Todd Bennett and five-year-old Jason Berg will be bonded for life after the Mennonite youngster vanished in a sun-baked cornfield for 28 hours in July. A determined Bennett found the severely dehydrated Jason in the nick of time.
Ronnie Hawkins fans, thanks to Joe "The Scrawler" Warmington, were updated several times on the life and times of Ontario's favourite U.S. rocker import. A December column took Rompin' Ronnie back to hosting John Lennon in 1978.
In September, Hollywood celeb Colin Farrell warmed our cynical hearts when he took a homeless Toronto man on a $2,100 shopping spree. Mike Strobel gave Sun readers an uplifting replay of the Irish actor's generosity.
Knut, a cuddly polar bear cub rejected at birth at the Berlin Zoo, captured the hearts of young and old world wide when introduced to the media early in 2007. Knut the celeb got his 15 minutes on magazine covers, videos etc. Then he aged, turned brown . . .
Christmas 2007 marked the changing of the guard for Kansas City's Secret Santa. The new Secret Santa, and his random $100 handouts, continued in honour of a late friend, Larry Stewart, who gave away more than $1 million in three decades.
Positive, but bittersweet, Brian Gray's November story about the late Maddie Babineau and her dream to build wells and schools for children in Africa was inspirational. Maddie, who died of bone cancer, made a difference in her all-to-brief 15 years.
Queen's Park columnist Christina Blizzard fought the good fight on behalf of bewildered motorists caught up in the great MOT vanity plate debate. It got FN Ugly for Rev Jo, the former was approved, the latter denied after 20 years - until the media stepped into the debate.
Veteran Maple Leafs fans found it heartening to see Johnny Bower back in the news in April, this time for the return of a lost 1967 Stanley Cup ring by honest finder Tino Cassar. Joe Warmington was with Cassar and Bower for the ring reunion.
Sun readers were treated to positive, old-fashioned newspaper doggedness when Pete Fisher heard slain Cobourg Const. Chris Garrett was being denied a Cross of Valour medal. Pete's scoop became national news leading up to Prime Minister Stephen Harper's intervention.
We close with a classic Mark Bonokoski column lead from September:
"Q: What is pink, weighs 72 lbs., is 5-foot-2 tall, 3-feet in diameter, got the bounce from eBay, and is likely the largest of its kind in the world?
A: The penis in Jo Mann's kitchen."
Rim shot, please.
As the old saying goes, "Always leave 'em laughing."
Have a great '08, Toronto Sun Family.
Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best . . .
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.
And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...
For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath
Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing,
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...
words and music by Eric Idle